Ask America
by shinymidna
Summary: Ask America your questions and tell him your deepest... darkest... SECRETS. Or not. Rated T just to be safe!
1. Chapter 1

Ask America  
Hey everybody, it's ShinyMidna and welcome to my new story/question column known as Ask America! Some of you (like maybe 3) know who I am from my story Red, White, Blue, and Black. Anyway, here you can ask your questions to no other than the best hero ever, Alfred F. Jones! So ask away! And maybe check out RWBB?


	2. Chapter 2

**Ask America**  
America: Hi dudes! It's the best hero ever, me! I heard from my friend ShinyMidna, that you guys are asking me questions! So let's see, where to start,where to start. Aha!  
Ahem. Ok first question from America Lover. By the way, I love your name. :D  
" So, what makes you a hero?"  
Many things make me a hero! How about I share my super duper extra special secret hero tips with you? Just don't tell Russia. Ok! First, you have to be on the extremely healthy diet of only hamburgers and snackers. And also spom. Second, ermm.. That's it. I am a hero because I save all in need and have the freedom of speech. Hope that was a good answer, bro!  
- America, the hamburger dude

ShinyMidna: America, another question! Be warned, you might not like this one...

America: is this a pairings question?  
ShinyMidna: Yes.

America: As long as I'm not paired with France...

France: Oh hon hon, you called?

ShinyMidna: . .house.  
America: Ok the question is...  
"What do you think about UKUS? And yes, Iggy tops you."  
What do I think of USUK? Well it is certainly better than AmeCan. I mean, that's gross! We're brothers! Real life, blood-and-flesh, bros! To tell you the truth, I kind of have a little tiny, teensy weensy crush on England. But I don't know if he likes me back. But don't tell him, ok?!  
ShinyMidna: sure America, whatever you say. Anyway, next question.  
America: Right. Next question.  
"What's your opinion on Prussia?"  
America: Oh that's easy, he is awesome! He is a great drinking buddy. The only downside to hanging out with him is that he hangs out with Francis. *shudder*  
ShinyMidna: Well, that wraps up this Ask America!  
America: Wait, I want to draw all our fans a picture!  
ShinyMidna: We have fans? o?O  
America: I have fans.  
ShinyMidna: Hey!  
America: Well whatever. Now I will draw something hideous... I know! France!  
ShinyMidna: You've been hanging out with Arthur a lot...  
America: ta-da! I drew France!

❀ ✿  
(/•3•)/  
ShinyMidna: Nice.

_Hello reader! ShinyMidna here. Did you like the column? I had a blast writing this! Anyways, did you know that this column has a story? You can ask questions about usuk, America/Japan, or America/Prussia and make America fall in love with any of them. And tell me what you want America to draw next. (personally, I might make him draw Weegee next.) Next RWBB update coming in a few days_


	3. Chapter 3

Ask America  
ShinyMidna: mwahahaha! You work for me!  
America: What was that?  
ShinyMidna: Nothing. Anyway...  
America and Shiny: Welcome to Ask America!  
ShinyMidna: Where America answers your questions! First question is...  
America: From a vegetarian. Ok let's see...  
"America, what is your opinion on veggie burgers?"  
America: I hate veggie burgers!  
ShinyMidna: Why?!  
America: Because when I was a young boy, England decided that I ate too much meat. So he cooked me these awful and I mean AWFUL veggie burgers. They were worse than his scones.  
ShinyMidna: That sounds awful. Here, have a decent veggie burger.  
America: Those tastes just like England's.  
ShinyMidna: I'm sorry! I can't cook! Let's just go to McDonald's  
America: Yay!  
?At McDonald's?  
America: Om Nom Nom  
ShinyMidna: Alfred, do you really have to eat 15 burgers? They are all out and there's none left for me!  
America: Yeah Shiny, I do! I'm hungry you know!  
ShinyMidna: Do countries even have to eat?  
America: I have no idea.  
ShinyMidna: Anyway, time for the next question!  
" If you could save either yourself or the other countries, which would you choose?"  
America: Well... Because I'm such a hero, I would save all of us! Except for maybe Russia... No I'm not that mean...  
ShinyMidna: So you would save everybody, correct?  
America: Yep! Because I'm just that kind of hero!  
ShinyMidna: Hey America, what are you drawing?  
America: Look, it's Austria!

( '._ ')-  
ShinyMidna: Close enough.


	4. Chapter 4

Ask America

ShinyMidna: Hello everybody, and welcome to Ask…

America: America!

ShinyMidna: Sorry about the long wait between this chapter and the last. My smartphone got really glitchy and I'm going to get a new one.

America: Yeah, because Shiny here is too cheap to get a good ph-

ShinyMidna: Shut up. My windows phone is awesome and you're just jealous.

America: Fine, fine, whatever.

ShinyMidna: Anyway, on to the first question.

"What if Canada started acting like Belarus?"

America: If Canada acted like Belarus… Then he would start crossdressing.

ShinyMidna: America! Be serious.

America: Fine. Then I would just hide in my house and play fighting games all day.

ShinyMidna: What if he finds you?

America: …..

ShinyMidna: Ok fine. Next question.

"During the Zombie Apocalypse, you have to join up with 10 other countries. Who would they be?

p.s. you have to have Russia on your team."

America: What, Russia! Not fair!

ShinyMidna: Stop pouting.

America: Fine. How about... China for his wok, England can poison the zombies with his horrid food, Germany because he is strong, Japan for his video games and katana, Russia because I have to, Prussia for comedic relief (and fan girls), Switzerland for guns, Liechtenstein because otherwise Switzerland wouldn't come, Hungary for her frying pan, and Belarus to scare Russia. Is that all of them?

ShinyMidna: Yep. On to the next question.

" Okay so bro, you gotta give it to me straight, what video game do you suggest for multi-player play. I have an event, so to speak, coming up and I want to be a decent player in at least one good game."

America: You can't go wrong with Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Or Halo multi-player in case you don't have a Wii. And if you dislike the motion controls, you can use a Game Cube controller instead.

ShinyMidna: And if your friends are Nintendo nerds, I recommend Metroid Prime Hunters for DS.

America: Ok, next question.

ShinyMidna: "I'm in need of some good dramas to watch. Would you happen to have any opinions on some?"

America: Uhh I don't really watch dramas.

ShinyMidna: How about "18, censoring or not?" A friend told me that one is good.

America: Well, that's all the time we have folks, so have a nice day!

ShinyMidna: Bye!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N This chapter took me forever to write! So enjoy! Sorry if i don't update as often, school is really hectic right now, and i get lots of homework right now. Anyway, do any of you people know a decently cheap cosplay site? Just asking, because a miku costume at the local anime shop is 200 dollars, which is a wee bit out of my price range. Also, this is kind of far off but the 50th reviewer gets an appearance in the story and gets to ask Alfred his or her question personally! So keep reviewing, kay? I don't own hetalia, or else half the fanfiction I read would be canon**.

Ask America

America: Hey Shiny!

Shiny:What?

America: Do you know what time it is?

Shinymidna: Adventure time.

America: No. It's time for... Ask America!

Shinymidna: That's right! How did you remember?

America: Absolutely no idea.

Anyway, should we begin the question asking?

Shinymidna: Most certainly.

America: That sounds like something England would say.

Shinymidna: Ohonhon!Amerique and Angleterre have hooked up!

America: What did you say?!

Shinymidna: Nothing, Nothing at all. Just had a small attack of Usukfangirlitis, nothing major.

America: Oh,ok - Wait what?

Shinymidna: Let's just start on the first question, shall we?

America: Ok fine.

Shinymidna: ahem. "Would you rather go on a date with France (for the whole day)or be trapped in Russia's house (for the whole day)?" America: Hmm... Be stuck with a perv or a commie? Tough one...

Shinymidna: Hey! Don't call Ivan a commie!

America: Why not?

Shinymidna: Because it's very rude.

America: Geez, you sound like England before the war. And after.

Shinymidna: Ahh, America. Before we get too off topic, which would it rather be? Ivan or Francis?

America: I would have to say... Ivan.

Shinymidna: Why would that be?

America: Because I'm the HERO!

Shinymidna: What does that have to do with anything?

America: It sounded cool.

Shinymidna: Ah. Great reason for everything.

America: Ok, next question!

Shinymidna: *psspssbestquestionpsspssUsUk psspsspss*

America: What the hell was that?

Shinymidna: Oh, just a little something for the viewers (or readers). Anyway, on to the question. "What would you do if England returned your feelings?"

America: My feelings? Heh heh, what feelings?

Shinymidna: Oooh, America, you're blushing!

America: Am not!

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Shut up both of you stupid hamburger eaters!"

Shinymidna: Romano? What are you doing here?

Romano: Well uh, I kinda sorta...

America: Spit it out Romano.

Shinymidna:Yes?

Romano: Needed some tomatoes.

Shinymidna: You went all the way to America for tomatoes. Frickin' Tomatoes!

Romano: Where are they then?

Shinymidna: Third drawer to the bottom, right side of the fridge.

Italy: Ve, thanks!

Shinymidna: Italy? How'd you get here?

Italy: Romano invited me here, ve! He said I could come with him if I made... PASTA!

Shinymidna: I see. Well, we have ingredients, so make pasta! America and I have to finish recording Ask America, so see you later!

Italy: One more thing Shinymidna, I invited everbo-

Shinymidna: Bye! Okay America, I have a couple things to ask you.

America: Yes?

Shinymidna: Ok America, would you mind if you read some fanfiction and reviewed it?

America: Yeah, that would be cool! We could call it America Reviews!

Shinymidna: Sure! Starting this update, you guys send us some fanfictions and America will review them for you!

America: Sounds great!

Japan: What sounds great, America-san?

Shinymidna: Nihon! What are you doing here? Can I have a hug? Did you get any new anime plushies in the mail?

Japan: Italy invited me-

China: Hello! I got lots of cute things today,aru!

England: Did you get any scones, Shiny-

South Korea: I invented scones!

Prussia: I am Awesome! Kese-

Hungary: Stay away from Austria.

Austria: Elizabeta dear, he wasn't even close to me-

Poland: I am like, so happy to be here-

Russia:You will become one with mother Russia, da?

Lithuania: Stay away from Poland!

France: Hello.

Romano: The pasta is ready- Aaah! France!

Spain: Francis, Romano is mine.

Romano: Dream on, tomato bastard.

Sealand: Hi guys! I'm Sealand!

England: NOBODY CARES!

Canada: I'm Canada.

Everybody: ...

Germany: Why are we all here?

Shinymidna: yeah, why is everyone in my house?

Italy: The pasta is ready!

And thus, the world was entirely peaceful... For the next 15 minutes or so.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys, I'm trying out a new format so tell me what you think, alright? In other news, I got a deviantart, so I might be posting some of my stories on there as well, maybe even earlier. *hint hint*. Its fangirlandproud in case you wanted to know. Anyway, on to the story! Please enjoy!**  
**Disclaimer! THIS CHAPTER HAS SLIGHT USUK. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. SIMPLE. Also, this chapter has Death Note spoilers.**

* * *

**Ask America- Awkwardness and Heroes!- Chapter 5**

"Hello guys!" America grinned. "It's great to be back after this, ahem, long break." America shot a not-so-friendly glare in my direction.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." I apologized. " Let's get on with the show, shall we?" I said pointedly.

"Ah, yes." America replied looking very flustered, as he blushed profusely.

"Geez Alfie, you sound like England." I muttered.

"So what? Iggy's a totally awesome guy, and even if he is a stuck up prick, I still have a giant ass crush on hi-" America's eyes widened, as he realized in shock what he said.

"Oh God... You aren't going to blackmail me with that or anything... Are you?" America asked me.

I didn't respond. I was far too busy sitting on the couch in the recording room in awe. America... in love with England? It was most fangirl's dreams come true! When I finally snapped out of it, I gently placed a hand on America's shoulder.

"America, bro, I'm not going to blackmail you, ok? This is our little secret." I told him quietly.

America nodded dismally.

"Ok, let's continue with the show now, alright?" I asked America.

"Ok, let's do this thing! First question, throw it at me!" America yelled confidently.

"Alright, let's do this crap! First question!" I sifted through the pile of question I had printed out, and finally decided on one near the middle of the pile.

I cleared my throat, and began reading the letter. "America, Why are you always saying that you are a hero?"

America grinned and adjusted his glasses. "That easy, 'cuz I am!"

I sighed. "America, that's not a good answer."

America pouted. "Fine. I call myself the hero because I like to save everyone and be loved be everyone and be the best. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is it?"

I looked at him over the tops of my glasses, clearly impressed. "America... That was a decently coherent sentence that didn't involve hamburgers. I'm impressed!"

America just smiled smugly and said, "I know."

"Alright then, on to the next part!" I looked over the next question on the sheet and grinned. This was going to be fun.

"Ok, America, this is your question!"

"Yeah...?"

"Who would you rather date, England or Canada?"

America groaned loudly. "Aw man, do I have to answer this question?"

"America, you are in debt. Do you want me to call all the countries you're in debt with and let them sort you out? If you don't want me to do that, just answer the fucking question already!" I yelled him angrily.

"Shiny?"

"Yes Alfie?"

"Remind me never to get you angry again, ok?"

"Sure thing, sweetie." I beamed at him.

"Umm, well, England." America blushed. "Because Canada's my bro and that'd be mega super awkward if I dated my brother."

"Ah. That makes sense." I said matter-of-factually. "Next question."

"Okay." Alfred said, slumping back in his chair, looking bored.

I sighed. " America, sit up straight, fix your hair, and for goodness sake straighten your glasses."

America sat up, rigid as a board. "I'm ready!" He shouted with enthusiasm.

"Alright then. Why are you afraid of ghosts?"

America tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well, ghosts are scary! What else do you want?"

I smiled. "Ok, America, this person is asking three questions."

America groaned. "What? Three questions? But... But... That's not fair! I don't want to answer that many questions! What if everybody sent in three questions? I would have to answer like... Like..." America though for a moment.

" A lot of questions!"

"Smart." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I know!" America grinned, the sarcasm flying over his head.

Alfred's voice suddenly went serious. "So people, send us a maximum of two questions per person now, okay? I'll get England to make scones, just for you, if you ask more than two questions, starting... now!

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. First question, have you read the Goosebumps books? And if so, what's your favourite?"

"Why are people obsessed with scaring me today? Like seriously, really? First ghosts, now this?" America said. "I bet the next question is going to be horror based, right? Please tell me I'm wrong."

I paused. "You're right." I admitted. "Alright, the question is... Have you seen Child's Play?" I questioned.

"You mean the movie with the scary doll dude?" America asked me.

I nodded slowly.

"Well yeah. But I didn't like it very much!" America said passionately.

"Ok, and last question from this person." I said. "And it's NOT about scary stuff!" I added.

"Okay, lay it on!" America exclaimed.

"If you could switch places with anyone from any anime, who would it be and why?" I read off.

"Hmm. That would probably be... L from Death Note, because he's badass and stuff!"

Uhh, America? You know L dies, right?" I said.

"WHAAAAT?" America screamed. "You spoiled it!"

I shrugged. "Sorry."

"America, what would happen if you met your female counterpart?" I asked him.

"I have a female counterpart?" America looked shocked.

"Yes Alfie, you do." I told him, facepalming as I said it.

"Well, if I met her, we would probably go out and get some fast food or something." America said.

"What would happen if you were the villain? This is the last question, so answer it decently!" I told him.

"Well, number one, I would never be the villain, because I'm the hero! Duh. But if I were, hypothetically speaking of course, the villain, I would be the best villain ever and KILL EVERYONE." America said.

"Alright then..." I said uneasily.

"Well, we're done, so..." America said.

"Bye!" We yelled in unison.


	7. Sorry

_**Hi everyone, I have a bit of bad news for all of you. Basically, all my stories were stored on my phone, in the form of Word Documents. This includes two new stories, which were about 3000 words each, and two more chapters in some other stories. I accidentally dropped my phone in water, and it survived, albeit the home , back, and search buttons not working. But, today in the morning, when I went to see if the phone had dried properly and if the buttons were working, I found out that the touch screen was not working. That means I can't access my phone, and work on/upload the stories i had stored on there. So i'm sorry if I don't upload anything new for a while, I'm still working on getting everything sorted out.**_

_**Thanks for understanding,**_

_**Shiny**_


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